We all know job interviews are a fucking trap. Its like reality TV; everything is so perfectly scripted you start to think the interviewer is just pulling the questions out of a hat and that the interviewee is answering them from a deep and honest place like he didn’t rehearse the night before (at least most of the time). So here are some honest answers to popular job interview questions;
1. Tell us about yourself
What you actually say: My name is Wale Williams, a graduate of Aso University who finds excitement in hitting tasks head on. I’m a young and dynamic individual with a passion for excellence and a determination to succeed.
What you want to say: I want to start by saying I thank God for this opportunity because I’m tired of sitting at home.
The way my father has been looking at me ehn!, as if I shit in my pants. Anyway, My name is Wale Williams, but my friends call me Wale Cobra, because you know what it do. I attended Aso University and studied for 4 years with a minor in ASUU strikes, for 3 years.
2. What is your greatest weakness?
What you actually say: I have a little challenge when handling many tasks at once, but I’m already attending a webinar that is teaching us how to fix this and it seems to be producing results.
What you want to say: Mehn, if you give me a task to do and the deadline is in one week, I swear I’d think about it everyday, but never do it. Then I start the night before deadline morning. And drink coffee, chew kolanut, drink Red Bull, and come to work looking like its closing time.
And one more thing, although I don’t think its a weakness, I believe the fridge is egalitarian in nature, which is why it has only one door. That is all.
3. How did you hear about this position?
What you say: A friend of mine told me about it and said he believed I’d fit in perfectly.
What you want to say: Think of every job website there is. I’m on every one. I knew like 10 minutes after you put up the vacancy.
4. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
How you answer: I see my self becoming a force to reckon with in Sales. Hopefully, I’d assume more management responsibilities and take on more challenges to make me even better at my work.
What you want to say: This question is just one kain. I don’t even have a full grasp of today. Like, who knows tomorrow? But if I had to say it sha, in 5 years, I want a good car, a better salary, my own house, and maybe an office better than your own sef.
5. What is your dream job?
How you answer: Based on my interests and career path, I want a job that would enable me grow at good pace. In fact, this is actually why I was excited about getting invited for this interview.
What you want to say: Anything that will gimme small work and plenty money, period. Probably not this one but we have to start somewhere.
6. Why should we hire you?
How you answer: I believe I am a good fit for the job as my skill set will not only enable me learn quickly on the job, it will also take this company to even greater heights.
Source: Party Jollof
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